Safe Harbor

Who doesn’t love a AU story? Who doesn’t want to see Wei generals in tight baseball pants?

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Cao Cao tied his hair back before setting the baseball hat on his head backwards and looked over at his cousin who was stretching and getting ready to warm up for the game. “Ready?”

Xiahou Dun cocked an eyebrow at him and picked up his glove. “Sure.”

Cao Cao grabbed his catcher’s mitt and mask. “I’m going to make Liu Bei cry this time.”

“Just as long as you don’t ask me to hit him with a pitch again.” Dun snorted.

Cao Cao smiled recalling how the other teams pitcher had practically screamed for his mother on home plate the last time they faced the Cheng Du Dragons. “Then he should play golf or chess.”

Dun stepped out of the lockeroom and onto the parking lot. He heard some girls cheering and rolled his eyes. Cao Cao and his women.

The teenage catcher smiled at the girls and gave them a smile as he waved. “I can’t wait to celebrate our win.”

“Keep it in your pants until after the damned game.”

“Easy there Dun. You have to stop getting so stressed out. Your scholarship is already secured. Free ride to state no matter what.”

Dun thumped his fist into his glove and quickened his pace to the ball field. “Go fondle your prom queen, I have work to do.”

“Oh for Christ sake! Quit being so bitchy.” Cao Cao trotted after him and slapped him on the ass. “You’re going to be unbearable in college and probably dead from a heart attack before you can get to the Majors.”

“Not everyone is as blessed as you. Some of us have to work at it.”

Cao Cao frowned as his cousin stormed off to grab a ball and probably try to break the speed barrier with his first throw. He wasn’t blessed, he was just gifted. He could do just about anything or anyone that he wanted. Senior class president, prom king, debate team captain, National honor society, academic team…whatever he chose to do he excelled at. He chose to be a catcher because it was the only position on the team where he could call the shots. He called each pitch, he fucked with the batter’s head and he was the only man on the field who could see every position. It was the only position that interested him.

“That’s awesome. Piss off the star pitcher before the big game.” Yu Jin spit out a few sunflower seeds and smiled.

Cao Cao looked at the second baseman and shrugged. “He throws better angry.”

“Like when he threw his fist into Guan Yu’s face last time?” Xu Huang asked and tossed a ball at Yu Jin.

“Thankfully that was in the lockerroom.” Yu Jin sighed. That would have been a catasrophy had any adult caught wind of what really happened. Dun would have been suspended and that would have been the end of the season for them. The Jian Ye Tigers would have been in the regionals instead of them. He threw the ball back at the shortstop, Huang, and cracked his gum in his mouth.

“You girls want me to find you a softball to toss around?” Cao Cao asked.

“Talk shit all you’d like.” Yu Jin snorted. “My girlfriend can pitch a full game instead of retiring in the seventh inning stretch.”

Cao Cao smiled. “That’s what she said last night when she was handling my balls.”

“Ha…Ha.” Jin took out his gum and stuck it on Cao Cao’s nose.

“Want me to get her to suck this off me? If I knew you wanted to watch….”

“Cao! Fucking hell, do you want a goddamned invitation to get your ass over here and catch me?”
Dun screamed.

Yu Jin chuckled and took his gum back. “Try to not break your hand.”

Cao turned as the cheerleaders started to organize their ‘Go Phoenix’ cards and were arguing about which vowel followed the ‘h’.

Lu Ling Qi dipped the brush in the pot of paint and stepped back from the mural to see if the color was to her liking. “Wenyuan, I’m not sure how to depict the Wu soldiers pissing their pants. It sort of looks like they’re the ‘Yellow Crotch Rebellion’.”

Of course there was no answer but her own voice echoing off the tomb walls. Her husband, Zhang Liao, was lying peacefully at rest behind her. Though it hadn’t stopped her from being with him. She spent most of her time now in this tomb working on murals to tell future generations the ture story of the Three Kingdoms Era. It was about all she could do to pass the time, waiting for death was hardly her style.

Things had been quiet these past few years, after what seemed to be a bombardment of funerals as prominant Wei generals and Kings were laid to rest in the dirt they bled on. Though things were beginning to get tense again and everyone suspected the Sima clan was going to try and despose of Cao Rui. Good ridence. He was a weak link.

“Grandma?”

“In here, Han.” Ling put the paint brush down and waited for her grandson to appear. He had only vague memories of his father, Cao Cao, as they had buried him when the boy was merely 7. Her daughter had still managed to raise a fine son.

“You wanted to see me?”

She looked at his young face and his tall, lanky body. She hoped he’d fill out eventually. “You need to eat more.”

“I am.” Cao Han smiled and looked at the painting she was working on. “Are they wearing their cavalry trousers backwards?”

“Ugh.” Ling crossed her arms and sat down on the stool. “I don’t know how to make them piss their pants!”

He chuckled. “I’ll try.”

She watched him begin to paint and try to salvage her work. He was his father’s son, a master of just about everything he touched. “How are things in the capital?”

“Sima Yi is ready to strike, I can feel it. He’s so pissy.”

“Then you better take control of your father’s empire before he does.” Ling watched him stop painting. He daughter, Yu Ming, didn’t know how to encourage her son to be a usurper. So the task fell to a woman who still hadn’t learned tact. “I’ll kill Sima Yi for you.”

“What?”

“Han, he has his armies ready to strike and once a man has the notion to rebell in his head….well he’s only going to make you his puppet until he finally gets tired of it. He’s an old friend, we both knew this day would come.”

“Grandma…” Han turned to her and watched her smile. “He’ll kill you.”

“That’s the plan. We take each other out.” She stood and felt some joints pop and her bones creak. “I hated your father for taking mine from me, but now I almost feel like he saved him from this hell. To bury the ones you love, to stare longingly at an empty casket wanting more than anything to be with your lover again. I’m ready, more than ever.”

“There has to be some other way.”

“If the Sima clan takes control of this kingdom they will eliminate everyone tied to the old regeme, I don’t need to tell you that. Cao Pi’s line is weak so we need to replace him with a more suitable heir. You. Son of Cao Cao, grandson of Zhang Liao, greatgrandson of Lu Bu. You have the support of your cousins and Uncle Hu, in addition the Xiahou family will be by your side. You have the charisma your father lacked, everyone you meet likes you. You’re brilliant and a master of every weapon you get your hands on. I don’t know of a better candidate that has ever set foot on this earth.”

He blushed. Grandmothers always thought that about their grandkids.

“However you’re 15, and you lack the accomplishments to back you. The experience that is isnvaluable. I can help, some. I had the weapons that defined your family brought to your mother. The Luna Spear, Gold Wyvern, Sword of Heaven and my own Sword of Truth and Light. When the time comes, she’ll have them placed in your throne room to remind everyone who you are. When you define yourself, when the world knows who Cao Han is, please return them to their owners.”

This was all so very well thought out. Like he was being read a will…”Is this goodbye?”

“Yes. I’ll take out Sima Yi tonight before your mother can tell your Uncle Hu what I’m doing. He has always been my protector.”

“Unify this country, Han. In doing so you’ll protect your family.”

“I will.” He began to cry and ran over to his grandmother, knowing once he left this tomb the next time he returned would be to bury her.

Cao Ang chuckled and ran his hand through his hair, he honestly had no idea how to answer Lu Ling Qi’s innocent questions sometimes. “Well, I guess I just don’t understand my father as much as you do yours.”

Ling Qi leaned over to look in his eyes. “You have to have some idea! He’s not working for my Dad because he owes him his life! What’s he planning!”

“I told you, he doesn’t talk to me about things like that!” He raised his hands in a playful plea of defense.

“You know him though…you have to be expecting something! Is he going to betray us? Try to kill my father? Try to seduce Diao Chan?”

“Okay.” Ang smiled and put his arms on her shoulders and pushed her towards a bench where he could force her to sit down. She grudgingly complied and he knelt in front of her so she could see in his eyes he was trying to answer her honestly. “Ling, my father has been scheming for most of my life…he didn’t dote on me like Lu Bu did for you. I tried to learn my lessons well, but his imput was few and far between. He just didn’t have time for me, so I’m really the wrong one to be asking. However I don’t think he’s capable of killing your Dad or stupid enough to try and get in Chan’s dress. I don’t think he’s going to betray anyone…I think your Dad’s empire is going to crumble without any outside assistance. He doesn’t listen to anyone’s advice.”

“So it’s a waiting game?”

“Probably. You have to admit, your Dad really does have a hard time listening to advice.”

“I know.” He sighed and realized he had put his hand on hers at some point. She blushed a bit and suddenly felt a little warm. Ever since Cao Ang arrived in Chang An, they had been hanging out together for lack of anything else to do. He was handsome like his father, but without being rotted by ambition or deception. She found herself thinking about him a lot when she was trying to get to sleep. Now here he was, so close she could find out how good he smelled.

Ang gulped as she squeezed his hand. Finally they were alone and close and without training or words to occupy them and the awkward silence seemed to be pushing for something more to happen. He really liked her, she was a beautiful girl with a ton of spunk, but he was terrified of her father and moreso his own. Sure the great Cao Cao would kiss his Lord’s daughter here alone in the courtyard, but if his son did….by god his ass would be red for a week! Knowing his father he’d probably even do it publicly! He was about to stand up and find something else to talk about but he was too slow.

Ling Qi leaned forward and gently kissed his lips. She had never been so cautious but she was afraid of his reaction. She didn’t care if Liao had thrown her in the Koi Pond when she grabbed him by the tunic and kissed him. Hell, Zhao Yun had falled over backwards and crawled away from her when she jumped him. She was her father’s daughter, and a Lu never asked for anything! They took it! However she liked Ang more than she wanted to admit and the prospect of him avoiding her scared her more than anything. So for the first time, she took it slow and waited for his reaction.

HOLY SHIT! Cao Ang felt his face flush with excitement as those perfect little lips so gently touched his. His whole life he had been afraid to step out of his father’s huge shadow, knowing he was nothing compared to him. He didn’t want to admit he could never live up to him, he didn’t want to hear it either. So he played it safe and tried to please him as much as he possibly could. This was his moment though, he could either decide to run and avoid what hell was going to come or kiss her back and finally define Cao Ang as a man…not just a errand boy. He reached up and put his hand on her face to tilt her head and give him a chance to elevate this simple kiss into something a bit more involved.

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Cao Cao nodded as Lu Bu finished chattering on about a supply raid and finally left the room. He was about to tell Xiahou Dun to ready the cavalry, but instead his air was cut off and he was yanked from the room by his collar.

Xiahou Dun blinked. All he had seen was Lu Bu’s huge hand in the doorway an instant before Cao Cao vanished out of it. He darted out the door hoping his cousin’s neck was still in place.

Lu Bu turned Cao Cao around and threw him against the balcony. “What is your son doing to my daughter?”

Cao Cao coughed and tried to focus. Being choked had let a few black spots encroach on his vision. He followed Lu Bu’s finger and his eyes grew wide. SHIT! Ang was on his knees in front of Ling Qi and was obviously giving her a demonstration of what his tongue could do in her mouth! Of all the damned women in the country he has to pick her? Didn’t the boy learn anything from him when he told him NOT to do what he did! Then the situation took an unexpected turn as Lu Bu’s baby girl pounced and pinned Ang beneath her so she could escalate the affections. “What is your daughter doing to my son?”

Lu Bu’s mouth dropped open as Ling put Ang’s hand on her breast and began snaking her hands into his robe.

Xiahou Dun wanted to laugh. There was something so horrific about this scene it was funny. “Why don’t you leave them alone?”

“What?” Lu Bu turned on the officer that he both respected and wanted to beat to death. “She’s my daughter!”

“She’s been grabbing my ass.” Dun grumbled. “She needs an outlet for the sex drive she got from you and I think someone her own age is more suitable than any of us. Mainly because that poor kid is going to piss himself when you both threaten to castrate him.”

“I’m glad you find this so amusing.” Cao Cao growled.

“I don’t have kids. I can find it amusing because tonight someone else has to deal with it. For now, let them be kids.” Dun shrugged and noticed Ang’s rope was now completely opened and Ling’s mouth was on his nipple. “She moves fast.”

Lu Bu began to hyperventilate as his face threatened to explode. “LING!”

Cao Cao watched his son’s eyes almost pop out of his head as the Ling Qi jumped off him and assumed a defensive battle stance. Ang hastily tried to tied his robe back together and stumbled over himself and into the bushes when he tried to get up. So this was what his father meant when he said ‘Just wait until you have kids, Karma is a real bitch Mengde.’. Thanks Dad.

The carriage jostled back and forth on the long road back to Xu Chang. The iron bars over the windows alerted the peasants that the occupant was a prisoner and Gongsun Lian could see them whispered as it past. She rested her head on the back of the carriage and sighed. She spent the last ten miles searching the carriage for a weakness, but found none. She hoped that the nest rest stop would be more agreeable for her escape.

She was thrown forward as the carriage came to a halt and the escorting soldiers began to holler. She sat up and looked out the window, not able to see much through the dust and blurs of horses. The skirmish lasted no more than a few minutes and she curiously waited for a view of the victors. She turned as the door opened and the face of a man she thought she would never see again looked at her.

“Lian?”

“Zilong?”

“Hey kid! Quit flirting!”

Zhao Yun frowned and looked over his shoulder at Zhang Fei. “I am not flirting!”

“Is it really you?” Lain stared at his boyishly handsome face and her heart fluttered. This was the man she had fallen in love with when he worked for her father.

“What are you doing here?” Yun held out his hand and she took it, her hands shackled to the floor. “What did you do?”

“I succeeded.” She smiled.

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“I can’t believe you’re still alive.” Zhao Yun admitted. “To defy Cao Cao like that…I knew you were bold but…wow.”

Lian walked her horse into the small stable and paused. “There’s a dead woman here, without an arm.”

“What?” Yun dropped the reins and rushed over. “Lord Liu Bei must be in danger!”

Lian ran after him as he raced towards the house. She followed a few steps behind him as he burst into the small structure and discovered that his Lord was just fine. In fact they all seemed to be quite happy, as they had just set down for a feast.

“My lord….”

“Zilong, don’t be rude!” Liu Bei stood and smiled apologetically to his host.

“There was a dead woman in the barn, I thought you were in danger!” Yun tried to defend his entrance.

“That was my wife.” The host said flatly and took another bite of his meal.

Lian stepped to the side and looked at the man. “You knew?”

“She’s dinner.” Zhang Fei smiled and raised a piece of meat with his chopsticks. “Tastes just like chicken.”

“What?” the combined voices of Yun and Lian asked.

“Our host has made a great sacrifice for us. Don’t insult him, sit down.” Liu Bei ordered then smiled at Lian as he remembered her face. “So good to see you again Lady Gongsun. My condolances, your father was a good friend.”

“Are you going to join us?” Guan Yu asked, taking another bite.

“I’m not hungry.” She stared at the plates and then looked at Yun, who’s mouth was still open in shock.

“I meant join of army, but it’s a shame that you’re not going to have something to eat. The flavor is incredible.”

“I was planning on it.” Lian was beginning to wonder if everything she had done was for nothing. Did she really hurt poor Cao Ren so that she could join forces with a band of cannibals?

“Excellent!” Liu Bei smiled. “I recall you and Zilong used to fight so well together. It’s truly an honor.”

“I should tend to my horse.” Lian smiled and bowed as she exited the house. She had to go to the barn and check her eyes, make sure thatreally was a dead body in the straw.

Zhao Yun ran into the barn expecting Lian to be already gone. “I know this looks bad but…”

“Zilong, you left Yuan Shao because he was a pompous ass. You left my father because he was a selfish arrogant ass. Please tell me your not serving a cannibal.”

“Lian, he’s a good man.”

“He is currently eating a woman’s arm.” She said incredulously. “How long before you go from serving him to being served?”

“These are desperate times…” Zilong sat down on a straw bale. “Please, don’t let this first impression be what makes your decision. Please stay with us. Stay with me. I know our relationship ended on bad terms, but…”

“But I ended up seeing what you did anyway. I ended up taking the cavalry from him, but it was too late. He was already undone.”

“Then trust me.” He stood and took her in his arms and kissed her.

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Gongsun Lian watched the peasants and soldiers board the boats and the sails begin to catch wind. Wei troops were approaching quickly, hoping to stop Liu Bei’s escape but Chang Ban would go down in history as a victory for Shu. Lian however still sat upon her horse on the cliff overlooking the river and made no move to join them.

“Well, well…” Cao Cao smirked as he saw who the lone warrior was. “It is a small world, isn’t it?”

Lian looked over her shoulder at him as he approached on his black steed, his cape fluttering around him. She sighed and said nothing, just watched the ships begin to float away.

Cao Cao was puzzled and moved his horse over to look at her face. “Did Liu Bei get sick of your defiant tongue and cut it out? ”

“No.” She said quietly. “He threw his kid on the ground and had a fit.”

“Excuse me?” Cao Cao wasn’t sure he heard her right, she was talking so softly.

Lian finally took her eyes off the ships and looked at the mighty ruler of Wei who she used to detest. “Zilong rescued his son, and Liu Bi threw a fit because the baby endangered his favorite soldier. He stood there horrified, but said nothing. The man who told my father he was a selfish arrogant ass who deserved to rot in hell. He stood there and then got on the damned boat.”

Cao Cao stroked his goatee. “You intended to join him all along?”

“I loved him for being so noble, for standing up to my father and leaving. For being as brave as I wanted to be. Now I find out that he’s become a lackey. Comprimising his integrity and morality to serve some cannibal who just threw his own child to the ground. How do you justify that? I’ve been a fool.”

“You were bold enough to defy me, patient enough to escape me and now courageous enough to sit here with me. You’re certainly allowed your mistakes, I certainly have mine.”

She looked at the man next to her for the first time with kind eyes. “He ate another human being. Liu Bei, he ate someone.”

“We’ll catch him eventually.” Cao Cao patted her shoulder, then turned to look at the army behind him. “Ren, perhaps you can comfort your wife while we organize a unit to pursue them.”

“Of course my lord.”

His words didn’t quite sink in as he rode away, not until a hand wrapped around hers and she looked down at the face of Cao Ren. She opened her mouth to say something but he reached up and put a finger to her lips.

“I burnt the scroll.”

“Why would you do that? I tortured you.”

“We all need to find our own path, Lian.”

“I….”

“I’m not a man who gives up. I don’t abandon what I believe in and I don’t snack on peasants.”

She let a smile form on her lips.

“You’re not her type then.” Xiahou Dun came up behind them and noticed his cousin’s reaction.

“Quit trying to protect me, Yuanrang.”

“Quit trying to save her.” Dun gave the woman a scowl as she looked to him.

“No.” Ren slapped his cousin’s leg and waved him off. “Go find something more productive to do.”

“Prepare dinner, perhaps?” Dun leaned over and patted his cousin’s helmet. “How do you like your peasant cooked? Medium rare?”

Lian’s face contorted as she thought about the brothers shoveling Lady Lo Mein into their mouths.

“Dun, that’s enough. Leave her alone. It’s been a rough day.”

“I can’t relate. I don’t think any of of my lords only to find out they like peculiar baby-tossing sports and BBQ human. Oh, wait….I have remained loyal to my lord my entire career. Weird.”

“Stop it.” Ren growled.

“It’s alright, I deserve it.” Lian admitted.

“You’ve made the right choice, that’s what is important.” Ren squeezed her hand.

“For the moment.” Dun added. “Do you want to serve Wu next week? I hear they have a Suncest festival, a whole new taboo for you to explore.”

“Dun, I said that was enough!” Ren snapped and scared his cousin’s horse.

“Fine.” Dun raised hi hands in admission of defeat. “Take your wife home and spank her for her misbehavoir, but don’t forget how quickly her alliegiances change or how easily she’s ripped you apart. Human nature is what it is, Ren. Even if you like to believe there is something worth salvaging. Just remember Lu Bu.” Dun tapped his eyepatch and slapped his cousin’s helmet once more before riding off to join the rest of the army.

“I’m sorry, Ren. You really are a good man, I am so sorry I hurt you.”

Gongsun Zan’s home was in flames and the rumors were that his family was already dead. Cao Cao’s soldiers flooded into the fortress and he rode his horse through the gate, his eyes scanning the interior to determine how much damaged there was. “Pi, see to it that these fires are put out. We’re trying to save this city for ourselves not have to invest time in building a new on one it’s ashes.”

“Yes, father.” Cao Pi gave orders to several subordinates and then noticed a small pocket of soldiers still fighting. “I’ll see to it that the rest of those men are taken care of before you advance.”

“I don’t see any men.” Cao Cao looked over at the burning house and at the one individual standing in the doorway with a spear. The soldier had just taken off his helmet to use as a projectile and his long hair spilled down over his shoulders. “I do believe that is a woman.”

Cao Pi knew better than to question his father’s judgement where women were concerned. Instead he followed him over to see who exactly this individual was.

Gongsun Lian stood in the door frame of her burning home. The flames engulfed the structure and provided an awe-inspiring backdrop for what would be the last stand of the Gongsun family. Her siblings and mother were dead on the floor inside, her father hanging from the ceiling by a noose of his own making. She watched as an imposing figure pushed through the blue-clad soldier and set the spear aside. “Prime Minister Cao, I suppose I should be honored you are seeing to this yourself.”

Cao Cao dismounted and walked up to the woman, his eyes were immediately drawn to the gruesome scene behind her. “Your father showed some dignity in his death.”

“Did he?” She looked over her shoulder as the body swung from a rafter momentarily before the beam snapped and both crashed to the floor.

Cao Cao reached out for her arm, as her hand was poised on her sword, still in the scabbard on her hip. “If you wanted to die you would have let him spare you this hell. I can only assume that you have some intention of taking care of your people. Hopefully to do a better job than he did. Give me the sword and quit wasting my time.”

Lian laughed at him. “I’m sorry, do you expect me to see you as a savior? That you’re here to free the people of this province from a warlords rule?

He tightened his grip on her wrist as she looked in in the eye and didn’t flinch. Few men could do that and no woman ever tried. “Something is to be said of the famed White Horse Cavalrymen if you can still be so confident amoungst this dispair.”

“Now who is wasting my time?” She asked and slapped his face with her free hand. “Come now, Prime Minister, it’s time to get your hands dirty.”

Cao Cao released her hand, never expecting her to actual hit him. He could almost hear everyone surrounding them gasp. “For a supposedly brave warrior, you are nothing but a reckless suicidal fool. Just like your father.”

Lian had her sword drawn and at his neck before he ended his sentence. Every man in the area took a step closer and she noted a few more famed Wei generals were now approaching. However Cao Cao made no move and simply stared her down with his cold brown eyes. “Still the cocky bastard you always were, Cao Cao.”

“Go ahead and end it then, if you think you’re capable.”

Cao Pi’s mouth hung open. “Has he gone mad?”

Xiahou Dun shook his head as he stood next to his nephew’s horse. “Yuan, just shoot her and put her out of her misery.”

“Will do, brother.”

Cao Cao watched her hesitate and took the opportunity to push away the sword and pin her to the wall of the house as it caved in behind her. “What is it that you’re after? Your father brought this on himself and his people turned on him. You turned on him, taking the opportunity to take control of the cavalry you so desperately wanted. So this is quite the theatrical performance for nothing.”

Cao Pi relaxed seeing that the woman was now pinned to a wall. “Now that is the father I know.”

Lian blew her hot breathe on his face as his hand went around her throat. “I’m not afraid of you, you can’t scare me. So here I am to defy you because I didn’t want my family name to be a footnote in history.”

“I can assure you, that won’t be the case.”

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Gongsun Lian sat at a desk and continued to sort through requests from the people. He husband scurried around the town making improvements, increasing productivity and bolstering troops and she tended to some menial tasks. She wanted to restore this city to it’s former glory and the White horse cavalry to it’s full strength. She wanted to dust the ashes off the family name, but unfortunetly it was going to be under the flag of Wei. She looked up as the doors flew open and the furious King of Wei stormed in. “If I had known you were coming I would have arranged for a sacking of the town.”

Cao Cao swiped the papers off the desk and his hands slammed down on it with enough force to rattle the remaining inkpot off the edge. “I spare your worthless life and you use it to make my cousin miserable!”

She leaned forward, mere inches from him, and looked up at his furious face. “I’ve made him look good, isn’t that what wives are for?”

Cao Cao had never encountered anyone who was immune to his rage. “You frigid little bitch…”

Cao Ren burst into the room in an attempt to stop his cousin from tearing his wife apart. He didn’t intend for him to get so upset when he admitted that his new wife was somewhat mean. “Mengde, please!”

“Is this how you intend to keep me in line, Ren? Tattling to your cousin?”

Cao Cao hand was off the table and mid air as his cousin shoved him off to the side. “If you won’t hit her, I will.”

Lian leaned back as his hand narrowly avoided her face. “I’m waiting.”

“Mengde, I didn’t mean anything by it….” Ren tried to put himself between his angry cousin and his hostile wife.

“Ren, you’re too kind for a woman like her. I’ll recify that.” Cao Cao grabbed a scroll of the floor and threw it on the empty desk. “Get me a quill and ink. I’ll annul this ridiculous marriage right now.”

“Mengde, we can work it out!”

“Ren, she’s already outlasted her use. You’ve done fine work rebuilding this city and I’m sure they won’t miss her much. I said give me your pen!”

Lian dipped the quill in the ink on the floor and handed it to him only to have Ren snatch it from her. “Stubborn aren’t you?”

“Nothing good will come of this Lian, I’m not going to give up and hand you over to be…” He stopped as Cao Cao grabbed the pen from him and began to write.

“Executed?” Cao Cao finished the sentence. “I’ll find you a more suitable wife. One who won’t revel in your bleeding heart.”

“Mengde, I asked for this. You have to give me the chance to…”

“Have her rip you apart more?” Cao Cao shook his head. “I should have listened to Dun, he told me you’d see this as some attempt to rescue a rabid dog and keep her from being put down.”

“Lian, please, say something.” Ren looked over at the woman who had been married to him over a year, the woman who verbally skewered him every chance she got.

“Do you need help writing that, Lord Cao?”

“Here.” Cao Cao handed the scroll to Ren and stared at the woman behind the desk who showed no emotion. “You’re a bachelor again.”

Ren took some consolation in the fact that he didn’t order her execution in the same sentence.

“You are a prisioner again.”

“I always have been.”

Ren watched Cao Cao grab her arm and drag her from the room. He should have kept his mouth shut.

Guan Yu stroked his beard as his brother continued to rant. “Mmm…hmmm.”

Liu Bei stumbled over something and decieded to just sit down and quit pacing. “What a way to really help the people, brother. Rob from the rich and give to the poor.”

“You really shouldn’t have had dinner with Yuan Shao.” Guan Yu sighed.

“It wasn’t dinner, it was a buffet! He doesn’t do anything but talk about how much money he has or his great name. Think about what the peasants and villagers could do with even a sack of his money.”

“So you want us to become thieves?” Guan Yu asked.

“Yes. I want to give up this whole running from lord to lord nonsense. We aren’t accomplishing anything except for being used.”

“Right.” Guan Yu looked around for help but Zhang Fei was too interested in the take-out containers that Liu Bei smuggled out of Yuan Shao’s Golden Child Buffet.

“We’ll all wear the same uniforms and anyone who wants to help can join us. We’ll live in the forrest and move around the country helping people!”

“By stealing.”

“Redistributing.” Liu Bei smiled.

“Just from Yuan Shao or do you intend to take from everyone?”

“Cao Cao can spare plenty, everyone can. We’ll be feared and loved and we’ll make a difference!”

“I want to wear tights.” Zhang Fei mumbled between bites. “Green tights. These clothes don’t do my package justice.”

“Excellent idea!” Liu Bei smiled. “I can’t wait to tell Zhao Yun.”

xxxxxxxxx

“I quit.”

“Zilong, please!” Liu Bei grabbed at the still shimmering warrior as he backed away from the small band of merry men in green tights.

“No. This is insane. I won’t wear that.”

Zhang Fei snickered. “Why? Your ‘little dragon’ going to disappoint?” He grabbed his crotch in emphasis.

“No. I won’t do it.” Zhao Yun backed up again. “Liu Bei you have crossed the line here. Certain fashion expressions should be limited to conventions or the bedroom.”

“Zilong, he’s supposed to be wearing a tunic just like the rest of us…but his mom wrote him an excuse note…something about sensitive skin and his nipples.” Guan Yu explained.

“Yes. My nipples chafe so easily, I just would rather not wear a shirt.” Zhang Fei nodded. “Very tender nipples.”

“I don’t care! This is just wrong.” Zhao Yun jumped on his horse. “I’m sorry, but I must leave your service. I can’t justify what your doing here….”

“NO!” Liu Bei screamed and chased after the young warrior as he galloped away.

Zhang Fei snorted. “Next time we see that kid we steal his horse….and armor.”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Three months later….

Edward looked around the tavern and tried to ignore the curious stares and excited whispers. He was about to leave when the barkeep pushed a ledger towards him.

“You can add your request if you don’t see the mercenary you’re looking for.”

“Thank you, but I was just looking for someone…”

“Hasn’t been in here for months.” The barkeep cleaned another mug and lowered his breath, “Last time anyone saw her she was with you.”

Edward let the information sink in. Certainly by now she would be healed and back to work, unless something had happened. He nodded his thanks and left the small tavern. If she had died his father would have triumphantly told him what his foolishness had brought.

He mounted his black charger and announced, “Time to consult with my father on the progress of the war.”

Chandos nodded and gave his customary reply, “I’ll keep things in order until you return, my lord.”

Xxxxxxxx

The ride home had provided the Prince with enough time to think of everything that could have possibly happened over the last few months. This was his doing; he had brought her here and left her in her mot vulnerable state. Whatever happened was his fault.

He had arrived home late, the castle was quiet and it was a little after midnight. His anger had reached a boiling point and he marched towards his father’s chambers ready to wake him and demand an answer. He swung the door open after waving off the guard’s worried protests and clanked his way towards the royal bedchamber. “Father, I must talk with you…now.”

The King was awakened not by his son’s sudden appearance but by the sound of a blade being drawn in the otherwise still night. He was instantly awake and lit a candle to help himself see in the moonlit room. Something other than a dark figure and a glistening blade at his throat. “What the hell…”

The Black Prince was motionless, but not because of the sword point pinching his soft throat. He let his father’s candle illuminate the face of the woman he had come here to find, a woman who was naked and holding a sword to his throat.

The King quickly surveyed the situation and rubbed his eyes. He heard her sword go back into its sheath and the bed creak as she settled back down into it. He stood up and wrapped his robe around himself, walking over to his stunned son. “Are you ever going to outgrow this stage?”

Edward looked to his father and back to his beloved mercenary, betrayal and surprise faded from his face and his anger returned. “Do you pay her for this too?”

The King hit him harder than he had really wanted but it was difficult to hold back. “Meet me in my study when you’re done feeling sorry for yourself.”

Karen wrapped the sheets around herself as he looked her over. “Better go before you piss him off more or I decide to take care of it for him.”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Edward, do I need to explain to you how it looks for the crown prince of England to be carrying a mercenary back to the castle in his arms?”

The Black Prince avoided his father’s piercing glare. “No father…”

“I thought Chandos was a good advisor and had a firm grasp on the concept as well.” The King looked at the one-eyed lord and saw his sigh of frustration. “Apparently he does and you chose to ignore his advice.”

“I…”

“I left the war in your hands and you obviously are concentrating on the wrong aspects of your position.”

“Father, she saved my life!” Edward snapped. “I cannot let such valor go unappreciated.”

“You have an entire country dying for you. Do you want to bring them all home to die in your bed?” The king awaited his son’s reply.

“She is only injured because she was protecting me!”

The King smiled as his son took the bait. “Explain then why you hire this specific mercenary time and time again and how reports are continually flooding in about you seeking out her company. Tell me why you are making a fool out of yourself chasing after a woman who has no interest in you?”

The prince found his tongue and snapped back. “Is that so? Then why would a mercenary risk her life to protect me?”

“Because I paid her to.” The King watched his son’s face pale and a hurt expression replace the shock.

“Why…”

“Who better to be a bodyguard than one nobody would expect and someone you kept close to you no matter what.” The King looked to Chandos for confirmation.

“His majesty asked me to hire her for the task.” Chandos gave his prince an apologetic look.

“Say goodbye to her Edward and go back to work.” The King made sure it resounded of a royal order and watched his son scuffle towards the room. “Make sure the damage his is minimalized, Chandos.”

“Yes sir.”

Xxxxxxxxxx

Her eyes fluttered open and she heard some excited squeaks and scuffling in the room. Used to rented rooms in taverns and field tents, the smell of perfumed sheets and bedside flowers gave her a headache. The last thing she remembered was the prince being gallant and carrying her off the battlefield. She groaned as she felt the bandages over where the arrows had embedded in her body.

“You’re awake.”

“You’re observant.” She snorted in reply before seeing the source of the voice. That was good, insult the King of England!

“I wish my son has inherited that simple skill.” The King sat down on the bed and put his hand against her brow. “Allow me to use my supernatural powers of observation once again and state that you still have quite a fever.”

“I am impressed.” Karen said with a smile. “It takes a lot to be such a smartass in an uncalled for situation.”

“That’s why I’m the King.” He reached for the nearby bowl of water and took the cloth out of it, ringing it with one hand before refolding it and placing it on her head.

“I’m not going to pay you for being my nurse.”

“I’ll take it off your pay.” He wiped away a drip of water with his thumb. He could see how his son had quickly become captivated by her. It was a relief to not have to be a royal around someone, to jest without apology and to be normal for even a brief time. “Along with medicine, lodging and transportation costs.”

“Transportation?” She giggled and winced. Damn that hurt. “What is the Black Cavalier charging these days for a moonlit gallop cradled in his arms?”

“My son has made quite a fool out of himself, hasn’t he?” He wanted to know the uncensored truth.

“Just to me, the rest of the world is either jealous or smugly smiling to themselves about the prince getting frisky. That armor doesn’t tarnish easily.”

“I did pay a handsome sum for a non corrosive finish.”

She chuckled and groaned. “Stop making me laugh. Cruel punishment…”

“I sent him back to the front lines with a healthy dose of reality. He shouldn’t be bothering you anymore.”

“You mean he shouldn’t be bothering you anymore.”

“I don’t need a scandal.”

“I’m still in this bed.”

“It will keep you away from him. Just enjoy the time off.”

“Don’t you want to meet my dad?”

Zhao Yun wondered if she actually thought anyone wanted to meet her dad. “Uh..Sure?”

Lu Ling Qi smiled and grabbed his hand and dragged him into the room. “Daddy! I’m home!”

“Shit.” Lu Bu jumped in his seat and almost spilled tea on his lap. Cao Cao was looking at him curiously. “In here.”

Cao Cao raised his eyes as the young lady entered, dragging a hapless Zhao Yun by the hand. She looked at him and then to her father. “Daddy, this is Zhao Yun.”

Zhao Yun looked at Cao Cao who was entirely too amused for a man cheating death. He then sized up Lu Bu…well he wasn’t that bad. “Sir.”

Lu Bu stood up and put his tea cup down. “Ling, what the hell is the meaning of this?”

“I thought I’d bring home an officer, which is more than you deserve for sending me away to get married to that perverted little pussy.”

Cao Cao hid his smile with his teacup.

“What are you smiling at?” Ling snorted. “You owe me for saving your stupid cousin. That man should learn how to keep his mouth shut. I swear, he must like being beaten.”

“That’s Dun for you.” Cao Cao stood up and walked over to her, he bowed gallantly and took her hand. His gentle kiss made her jump and he smirked again. “Thank you, my lady.”

“Pervert.” She snorted and took her hand back.

“Ling…”

“I missed you too Daddy.” She ran over and hugged her father. “You owe me too.”

“Is this why you brought this kid home? He’s gay.” Lu Bu whispered.

“He won’t put out.” She whispered back. “I think he’s a prude.”

“Why don’t you go tell Liao what is going on. Okay?” he smiled as she pecked his cheek.

“Can I have him?”

“No.”

“Fine.”

Cao Cao pressed his body against the building as the men rode past. He was trapped in Yong An and it was looking like there was little hope of escape. Yuan Shao had betrayed him and already had imprisioned half his family. The hunt was on and there was a hefty price on his head. Everyone was out looking for him.

He had only made it this far due to the efforts of his cousins, Xiahou Dun and Xiahou Yuan had both been captured leading men away from him. He couldn’t fail them, he had to find a way to free them, they needed him.

He tried to think of anyone he could count on. Sun Jian and Liu Bei were both helping lead massive hunting parties. Yuan Shao had harbored him, only to betray him and imprision his family.

“Look who I found.” A sweet young face smiled down at him from the rooftop.

He was wondering who this stunning woman was but she threw him a rope and stood up. “Who…”

“They’re coming for you.” She said quietyly. “Do you care?”

He climbed up the offered rope and was startled when a man’s hand grasped his tunic and yanked him onto the rooftop. In the moonlight there was no question as to who the man was. “Lu Bu…”

“Humpf.”

“Bubs…don’t hurt him. It wasn’t the point.”

“Chan…”

“We have to get off the roof before you collapse it.” Diao Chan tugged at his sleeve. “Please?”

“Humpf.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cao Cao sipped at the tea and looked at peopel in the room. He put his cup down and looked at Diao Chan. “Why would you do this?”

“Maybe we just want the money.” Lu Bu answered for her.

“You would have turned me in already. Besides, it was ‘Dead or Alive’ and you hardly prefer a live one. ” The door opened and a new officer entered. Cao Cao noted his rank but didn’t know who he was.

“They are planning on executing Xiahou Dun tomorrow morning unless Cao Cao turns himself in.”

Cao Cao stood up and growled. He wasn’t about to let his cousins suffer for his mistake. “Then turn me in.”

“Liao, what about the others?” Chan asked.

“From what I could gather from this kid, none of the other captives have pissed of Yuan Shao as much.” Zhang Liao looked at Cao Cao and frowned. “Seriously, Fengxian, you can’t trust him.”

“Who are you?” Cao Cao asked sincerely. He liked a man who could size up a man in just a look.

“Zhang Liao.” He bowed slightly.

“He’s my best general.” Lu Bu said proudly. “Best friend too.”

Liao smiled. Leave it to Lu Bu to want to state ‘mine’ to a stranger. “Right now I am the only hope your officers have.”

“Yuan Shao doesn’t trust you, he’s only using you to try to get your daughter.” Cao Cao sat down and took his tea cup back into his hand. “Backstabbing son of a bitch.”

“My daughter already broke her fiance’s nose and about six ribs. She’s pissed at me and him.” Lu Bu frowned and scratched his chin. “However she found this Zhao Yun guy and thinks he’s just the best thing ever. I think he’s gay, but I would rather my daughter love a gay guy than a pervert.”

“He’s helping us save your family.” Liao crossed his arms and told Cao Cao. “Thinks it’s injust and hates Yuan Shao for doing it. He must actually like Ling Qi a little because from what she tells me he’s in love with Liu Bei. Why would he help us when he could help his lover?”

“You two better be nice to him.” Diao Chan warned. “Especially after arranging a marriage for her. he can fight, right?”

“Yeah.” Liao nodded. “He’s pretty good. A bit whiney about righteousness, but seems like a nice kid.”

“What exactly am I going to owe you for saving my men?” Cao Cao asked.

“I need a strategist.” Lu Bu sighed and let Diao Chan pat his cheek for admitting it. “Do you want the job? I’ll save your family, but if you piss me off or try to trick me I’ll kill them.” For that he got a smack on the cheek.

“You want to rule? Or just stay occupied?” Cao Cao was genuinely confused.

“I want to win.” Lu Bu shrugged. “So…want to join my army?”

“Yes.”